#(after)life as a shorty shouldn't be so rough | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

justanotherlifeff · 4 years ago

Text

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm.

(Y/N) POV

I sat on the floor looking at the huge bloodied figure lying on the ground right in front of me. It was screaming a while ago before I stabbed it uncountable times on it's throat. Now it's quiet and peaceful. I heard about titans from my parents. They told me stories about those big humanoid creatures with sick smiles. I looked at the figure and thought, is that what titans look like?

The door to the house opened and my parents walked in. I ran to my dad, hugged him, smiled at him and said "I killed a titan!". There were stains of blood on his pants which clearly came from my naked body. I forgot I didn't have clothes on as the 'titan' tore them off. The look of horror in their eyes made my enthusiasm go away. They looked at me as if they were terrified. Was Jacob telling the truth? Will they put me back to that nightmarish place again? I felt betrayed. Weren't they supposed to protect me?

"(Y/N)? Wake up (Y/N)." I woke up to Hanji's voice. I don't recall much from last night except for the part where I dragged myself to eat the stew heichou made. My only memory before that was the talk with heichou since I passed out on my bed out of exhaustion after that. When I got up, I noticed heichou standing at the door of my room looking at me. A blush was threatening to creep on my face as I remembered the kiss from yesterday.

Levi heichou and I had something between us now and I was feeling as nervous as a teenager for the first time in my life. I didn't know why I kissed him last night but I just couldn't control myself. Heichou was such a beautiful specimen... The sun was up and bright and I realised that I overslept.

"Sorry I overslept. Didn't I lock the door last night?" I asked Hanji while getting down from bed. "Yes you are late but you needed to sleep. After all, you had a rough day yesterday. And, no you didn't lock your door. You really shouldn't forget things like that you know." Hanji told me sympathetically. I had to agree with her in both cases but the irony was too much to bear as Hanji often forgot to sleep or eat thanks to her obsession with titan research.

"We are going to Trost. Erwin lost an arm and is in a coma. I supposed you would like to see him." Levi heichou spoke to me. I, still trying to control the blush, answered, "Yes heichou. I will be ready in five minutes''. "Well, I will let you get dressed" Hanji said as she left the room. Levi Heichou was still standing at the door. After an awkward silence, he spoke to me, "You okay? Erwin is being treated by the best military doctors. He will be fine." I could see the worry in his eyes. He was worried about me?

"Thanks for letting me know." I murmured. The news he gave me made me a bit relaxed. After hearing Erwin was in a coma, I feared for his life because he was the only family I had left. Before I knew it, the captain was in front of me and he caressed my cheek.

"It's gonna be alright. Now get dressed and pack up some clothes. We will be staying there for a while. Mikasa can protect Eren and Historia. You can be with Erwin meanwhile and I have to take care of his work. That piece of shit chose a good fucking time to slack off." he said the last bit with a sarcastic tone before continuing, "By the way, you're getting on the same carriage as I am. Don't let Hanji steal you." and with that, he got out of the room.

I couldn't help but blush the whole time. Heichou was capable of showing emotions like that? I had to admit that I wasn't acting like my usual self as well. It felt as if all the teenage hormones I held back for so long were erupting now. I figured that I would have to wear something fancy since heichou was wearing a suit.

Unfortunately I did not own anything like that so I stuck with my survey corps uniform and packed up the very few clothes I owned. As I went out, I found two carriages waiting for us. Hanji literally jumped at me excitedly and said "There you are! No wonder you're second in command. I have never been so punctual in my whole career. I can see why Shorty here admires you!".

I tried to get her off me as she dragged me to a carriage and before she pulled me in, a monotone voice stated, "Shouldn't you go with Moblit here? He's you're second in command and you're making my second in command stinky, shitty glasses''.

Hanji looked at Levi Heichou who was standing in front of the other carriage and said, "Come on shorty! I bathed just two days back! My underarms don't even smell!" and she approached him to make him smell her underarms to which he crinkled his nose and said "Fuck off shitty glasses. (Y/N), get in the carriage." and with that, he got inside the carriage he was standing in front of.

I followed him as Hanji complained, "Jeez, that shorty needs to calm down" before going back to Moblit. As I got up and sat beside heichou, he commented, "You won several sparring sessions with me and couldn't shake Hanji off?". "Hanji was shoving my nose in her underarms. Unlike what she said, it did smell bad, which was quite distracting" I answered and for the first time, I heard heichou chuckle. I looked at him with wide eyes as he looked at me and stated, "I was planning to kiss you but you will have to wash your face now" with a grin. He looked amused and I didn't know if I wanted to punch him in the face for laughing at my misery or if I should just enjoy the rare moment of him grinning. At the end, I decided to let it slide. I could always punch him later during training. After a short awkward silence, he spoke, "So, I wanted to talk to you about yesterday".

Levi POV

I wasn't sure about that kiss yet. She was tired when it happened. Did she even mean it? After all, she didn't seem to say anything when I touched her cheek or made that remark about kissing her. I still had to be sure. She avoided my gaze when I mentioned that I wanted to talk about yesterday. "Do you regret it?" she asked quietly. Her face looked emotionless but her eyes gave away the fact that she was scared. "I don't regret anything. I want this, (Y/N). I just want to know if we are on the same page." I explained to her.

She looked at me, smiled and replied, "Yes we are.". However, her face became serious once again as she muttered, "Although, I have some questions.". " Well then, ask" I encouraged her, looking at her eyes, giving her all my attention. "What the fuck is she going to ask?" I wondered. "You mentioned that we have enemies inside the walls. Who are they? Why are they our enemies?" she asked.

"You see, Nick spilled about Historia and Hanji thinks that the church is not going to take this easily. Nick unknowingly mentioned that other people know about Historia too when he said that he can't speak because of the other followers. If the other followers were to know that he talked, the Survey Corps may be targeted, especially Eren and Historia. Hanji thinks the information Nick gave up had something to do with titans and that makes Eren a target. Historia's noble family definitely didn't want Historia to keep that name.

Her mother was assassinated and this means the enemy is strong. As for you, we both know that I'm the so-called humanity's strongest. The first thing any attacker would try to find is my weakness to bring me down. We both know that you're the only weakness I've got. The fact that you're my subordinate and we both are popular as you made a new name for yourself as humanity's strongest woman and the fact that you're so much younger than I am, all of it means that the gossip about us will spread like wildfire if anyone is to know.

If the enemy gets to know about us, you will be in danger. I know you are capable of taking care of yourself but as your squad leader, and something more than just that now, I have a duty towards protecting you. I just don't want you to be hurt" I explained to her. I was bad at showing emotions but I think she understood that seeing her hurt would make me feel like a failure.

I remembered the gut clenching experience from that day when I was waiting desperately for her to return safely. I remembered how terrified I felt when I heard she was not well and the colossal titan and the armoured titan showed up near her. I wanted to protect this woman at any cost.

"I see. Honestly, I thought you didn't want anyone to know because of the rumours it would create and I thought you didn't want the negative impression they would have on you" she told me with a straight face. "I see, the usual (Y/N) is back." I thought as I looked at her. I was kinda shocked to see her blush so much. I wasn't complaining though since she looked adorable when she blushed. "You really think I give a fuck about what people think?" I asked her, raising my eyebrows.

She chuckled a bit at that. After some more silence, I said, "Hey (Y/N), when I entered your room this morning, you were sleep talking.". She blushed again, to my delight and asked, " Was I? What did I say?". She really did look lovely when she blushed. "You were saying 'I killed a titan dad' with a big smile on your face. Care to explain?" I asked her with a smirk. I could tell that the story behind this would be interesting. To that, she suddenly grimaced.

"I said that to my father when he returned home with my mother after I killed that Garrison soldier." she answered with her face void of any emotion. Immediately, I felt guilty about the fact that I had accidentally brought on some definitely unpleasant memories into the conversation. I knew this was a sensitive topic but I also knew that trying to lighten the mood wouldn't work. As much as I personally wasn't good at it, it just wouldn't work because I understood the depth of her situation.

I saw young children getting molested in the underground. I remember how they cried. I killed a few molesters myself but saving everyone at the end, just wasn't possible. I decided to ask her if she wanted to talk about it so that she might find some solace out of sharing her painful past. As I asked her this, she scanned my face as if she was trying to figure something out. At the end she said, "I'll talk if you share your memories with me too".

I hesitated for a second and upon seeing that, she asked, "Do you trust me?". I thought about it and didn't find any reason not to trust her. " Yes, do you?" I answered and asked. "Yes," she answered. Upon listening to her memories of this certain Jacob, my heart ached. My hands clenched into a fist unconsciously and I felt anger fuming inside me. "No one will touch her again as long as I'm alive. No one except myself", I thought. I had to protect her from this world. I was proud of how capable she was but I still wouldn't let her in harm's way. I just couldn't. She deserved so much better.

"I would've gutted that bastard if he was alive. I would've pulled every single nail from his hands and legs and cut his dick off. You were kind to him and he didn't deserve it." I commented when she finished. "Well, you're the only one who thinks that." she answered with a weak smile. "You know, if you give your official statement at the court, your criminal record could be erased. I can talk to Erwin about it if you're uncomfortable. This would help you if you ever retire." I offered to her, hoping she would agree to it. Instead, she asked, "Would you retire?".

I was taken aback by that question. "I don't think so. I devoted my life to humanity. I never really thought about retirement." I answered looking away from her. I didn't like where this was going. "Why do you think I will retire then? I devoted my life to humanity as well." she answered. "Wouldn't you want a stable life? A family?" I asked her. I was scared of the answer. Every woman wanted that didn't they? I couldn't give her a stable life. I knew that much. Why would she ever think about having a family with someone who might end up dead anytime?

"I don't want to be some man's trophy wife. I want to have my free will. I want to fight for humanity. If I am ever to have a family, I would have it while fighting for humanity. I'm sure my children would be proud to say their mother died a hero." she answered with a smile. I felt guilt and relief at the same time. Guilt because she would have to live a soldier's life because of me and relief because she will remain mine for longer than I had anticipated. Heck, she might be mine till one of us dies. I couldn't ask for more.

"Their mother will die only if I end up dying. Before that, it's not happening" I told her with a smirk and she blushed at the sentence. She totally got what I meant. "Why don't you talk to me about your past now?" she said. I started talking to her about Farlan and Isabel. We chatted for hours about our pasts. I said to her that the last time I cried was when Farlan and Isabel died. She told me about what happened at the court during her trial. How Mr and Mrs Hertz defended her. How all the proof was in her favour as the man was found half naked while she was found completely nude.

The lawyer on the culprit's defence however was cunning and said that as she had sexual experience before, she used it to murder the man. She did it out of her murderous nature that she apparently acquired from the underground. He blamed her for not talking because everything the proof says were false when in reality, she just didn't want to admit killing the man because she was scared that she would be left in the underground city again. I made a mental note to beat the lawyer up.

I told her about my mother. How she seemed to love me. How she sold her body to provide for me. How at the end, she ended up dying, leaving me alone. How I spent a couple of days stuck in a room with her corpse. How a man named Kenny saved me. She listened and held my hand in the progress. I didn't shrug it off because it made me feel better for a change.

She talked to me about how she first met Erwin after her trial. How she was scared of him at first but he gained her trust by letting her read books from his personal library in his quarters in the Survey Corps headquarters back in wall Maria. How he trained her to fight and gave her the courage to face anything thrown at her way. How he never judged her. This made me remember my own experience with Erwin. He never judged me, a thug from the underground city either. I respected him for this attitude. I wondered if he would be happy with me and (Y/N) being together as he was the closest thing to a father figure (Y/N) had.

We were so much into our conversation that we didn't notice that we had reached Trost. The coachman opened the door of the carriage and we both got down. We were in front of a military police lodging. We were supposed to be staying here till Erwin regained his consciousness. As we got down, Nile approached us with somewhat of a worried face.

"I didn't think you would bring extra people. We were only expecting Hanji and you, Levi" he told me. "Well, Hanji doesn't remember to sleep or eat without Moblit's help and Erwin is close to (Y/N). Both needed to be here." I replied to him. "I understand but there is a shortage of rooms as the Garrison is holding a charity event in Trost and the people from wall Sina are here. We were only able to arrange two rooms." he said.

"Huhhh? Well, that means I can stay with (Y/N)! I can't wait to tell her all I know about titans! " Hanji squealed and (Y/N) looked at me with annoyance clear in her eyes and said, "I'm not staying with her" making Hanji stop squealing. "Hanji and Moblit can take these rooms. We will find lodging in any hotel" I assured Nile. "Well, good luck finding a room. Most upper class hotels with enough security are booked for a week." he mentioned.

"We'll see that. Could we borrow two horses? Both of us have leg injuries" I stated to Nile and he said, "Of Course. Someone would return with the horses shortly. I must go now. Good day." as he went out of the facility. After waiting for about 15 minutes, a stable boy came to us with two horses and we went off to search for a hotel.

(Y/N) POV

I followed Heichou's horse to one of the big hotels in the Trost district. They mentioned that no rooms are available at any luxury hotel now except one where a few suites may be available. "That would make some effect on my paycheck," heichou muttered to himself after getting out of that hotel and while getting on his horse. "We could just go rent a room at an inn.." I suggested but heichou dismissed the idea saying, "We need to be somewhere more secure than that. I mentioned why before didn't I?". I didn't reply to it. Heichou seemed to know the hotel we were going to.

"You seem to know the location," I mentioned to him. He didn't look at me and replied, "Yes, I stayed there a few times. Not for weeks though. They keep overnight guests discrete.". I felt a pang of jealousy at that but I knew that heichou was popular among women and it happened before we got together, so I didn't exactly have the right to be jealous about it. After reaching the place, Heichou talked to the man in the lobby about rooms.

Apparently, only one suite was still available. While heichou was paying for the suite, I took a look at the price while heichou was paying. He seemed to notice the shock in my eyes and asked, " What are you looking at?". "How can you afford that?" I asked him in shock. "I'm one of the highest paid soldiers because of my position in the survey corps and my reputation. I can easily afford it. Seems like your paycheck will increase next month too. You're second in command now after all" he stated in a matter of fact tone.

After he was done with the paperworks with the man in the lobby, I followed him and a waiter into the suite. It had a big living room with an attached kitchen and an enormous bedroom with an attached bathroom.

"You can take the bed. I'll sleep on the sofa" heichou said as he got into the walk in closet with the bedroom. I looked at the sofa in the living room and it clearly wasn't nearly as comfortable as the big soft bed. I didn't go against his decision however, because I didn't feel comfortable about sharing a bed with him just yet. I saw him take a towel that was given by the hotel and examine it. When he was convinced that it was clean enough, he went into the bathroom and said, "I sent a messenger to the military police lodging about where we are staying. They will bring our luggages here. When they do, I need you to put out a shirt and a pant for me".

"Okay" I answered. As he went to the shower, I went to the kitchen. They had vegetables stocked in the cabinets and meat in the ice box. I knew we would have to pay for it later and meat was expensive now so I just proceeded to cook some vegetable stew. A military police recruit came with our trunks and I took them from him and thanked him for the help. He seemed kinda intimidated by me even if I was just thanking him but that probably was because of my new reputation.

Apparently I have been on today's newspaper as the strongest woman of humanity. Honestly, I couldn't care less about such foolish titles. I opened Heichou's trunk and took a white shirt and one of his black pants. Seemed like all the pants he owned were black except for his survey corps uniform pants. I laid them out neatly on the bed and went back to see how much my stew was cooked. Just as I was done, I saw heichou get out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel on.

Suddenly, dirty thoughts that never crossed my mind before were all flooding into my head. Heichou's body was nothing like those men from the underground or Jacob. It actually made me slightly interested in giving a shot at sex. I brushed those thoughts aside when heichou disappeared in the walk-in closet with his clothes.

I took a pot from the cabinet and poured out the stew. Heichou walked in the living room as I had set the pot on the dining table. "We could've just ordered someone to bring us food. You didn't have to work so hard." he said to me. "Wouldn't that be more expensive?" I asked him. He smiled at me and replied, "Like I said before, I'm one of the highest paid soldiers. You don't have to worry about money. The stew smells good though. Thank God I claimed you before some aristocrat bastard made you their housewife". Levi Heichou was teasing me? "Wouldn't you kill them and get me back?" I smirked back.

"Ah, that I would. Get cleaned now. You look like shit" he said with a smile. I went to the washroom, took a quick shower and wore a long brown skirt and an olive green peasant blouse. The outfit didn't suit the atmosphere of the room. "I really need to buy good clothes'' I thought. As I came out of the closet, heichou looked at me for a while and said, "change into your uniform pants. After seeing Erwin, you're going out with me and Hanji to buy some good clothes. I'll pay for it because your salary as a recruit won't get you anything good. You probably can buy your own stuff from next month".

I tried to protest but he got up from his chair and shutted me up with a kiss. As I was gaping at him for his sudden actions, he stated, "Don't question me. Get dressed properly now. I'll arrange two horses." and got out of the suite. I did as he said because I couldn't exactly complain in this situation. I didn't have much money with me as the salary for recruits, even in the special operations squad, was really low.

I ate the rest of the leftover stew and got out of the suite. Levi heichou finished off more than half of the stew and by that, I assumed that he liked it. I suppose the higher quality ingredients were the reason behind it.

I found heichou waiting for me outside with two horses. I was anxious about what position I would see uncle Erwin in and it seemed like heichou understood it. "Everything's gonna be fine," he said, trying to comfort me. I looked at him and found that his gaze was soft. As we went out to the road, I kept looking at that man. He was capable of being so strong yet so emotionally conflicted.

I understood his attempts to make me feel better. I was bad at it too but what mattered was that he tried. That I was willing to try as well. What mattered was that he was the most beautiful person I had ever encountered.

To be continued...

Taglist: @kingtamakimurder @realityisoftendisapointing

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